Saturday, January 22, 2011

Fable III Gnome Quotes

Yes recently I've been playing a bit of Fable III and like Fable II there are more insulting statues to hunt and shoot down (after listening to their charming insults directed at you of course) only this time in the form of Gnomes instead of Gargoyles...I wont ruin the surprise for anyone who hasn't already learned the background of these little bastards

Because these delightful little buggers are just...soo...charming....I decided to sit through the entire loop
.
..
...
several times
In order to bring you (drumroll) The Gnome Quote list!  perhaps it deserves a better name...but this probably brings in more hits on google but oh well...


Here's the general rules/way of avoiding negative criticism
  • Quotes are in order from first one I wrote down to last one I wrote down
  • Quotes are in written form while the Gnomes insults are in audio form...use your own bloody grammar and punctuation. English classes only teach you to write essays...not English
  • The majority of the phrases are said normal voice for the first part and shouting for the second part. Use imagination accordingly because I don't feel like spamming the caps button
  • They change depending on gender and moral standing within the game, mine are from an evil male
  • Don't be a twit! .....that rule might help you later in life ;)

Now on to the goods! 

Mostly Accurate


I feel like celebrating today, because todays the day you die!

I was hoping you'd come round, I need a good laugh!

I sensed your presense before you even arrived...What did you eat!

My favorite things are music and sunshine and love! And pain

You now what I like most about people? They die

Seeing you brings back memories...of wanting my eyes gouged out!

I'm not like those mean Gnomes. Im a million times worse

Blue is a nice color for you. You should put on a nice blue DRESS!

Winter is my favorite season. I love the snow. Thats also when most people die.

Haha! You're funny! But looks aren't everything!

Its a great day to be alive! And a better day to kill.

I like to think about puppies! About slowly slowly crushing them.

I cant decide whether I like your looks or your personality better. Its like comparing mud to sewage!

Here doggy doggy! Come over here and die.

Those are nice shoes..but dont you think your gran's feet are cold without them?

Thats a nice weapon you got there. What are you, compensating for something?

You're the scariest thing Ive seen since...since that chipmunk that ran by ten minutes ago.

Sometimes I just want someone to talk to...and sometimes I just want someone to kick in the crotch!

I can help you find what you're looking for, step one: Pull your head out of your ass!

I think your weapon might be bent, oh no wait! THATS YOU!

You seem like a nice person. I kill nice people you know!

Oh I didn't see you there...hows it like being so insignificant?

Hey doggy play dead! And nevermind the playing part!

Sure is a beautiful day...except where you're standing!

Id like to come over to your house for tea. And then Ill have your mum!

You're the embodiment of pure evil. Ask me if I give a toss!

Excuse me, do you have the time? To get stuffed!

Id like to get to know someone like you...and drown them.

We could be best friends...if I like people with an ass for a face!

Ive said it before and Ill say it again...I hate you.

That skin, not a lot of people could pull that off...Id like to pull it off! Come Here!

Oh look! He's wagging his tail...maybe hes thinking about eating crap!

I bet the ladies like you...you can share makeup tips and trade shoes!

I knew someone more evil than you...my Gran! And all of her friends!

It must be nice to be able to lick your own privates...but doesn't that embarras your dog?

Ohh! Look at the doggy! Looks delicious!

You look, ah, familiar..oh I remember, you look like this girlie I used to shag!!

Are you lost? Can I help you starve and die?

You stink you mongrel! Either you rolled in something..or your dog did!

You remind me of an old friend. He was a twit...Just like YOU!

You are one evil hero, whats a matter? Too lazy to be good?

If I had a friend like you, I could tell them secrets...like that Im going to set you on fire.

If it were up to me nobody would get sick. They'd just die, starting with you!

Dogs are noble, loyal and faithful...right tasty too!

The eyes are a window to the soul...so yours must be red and freaky

The world needs a big strong man to put things right. You know any milady?



Quotes that are only partially accurate...enough to get the idea

~Thats a nice doggy...if you like scrawny little ugly runts!

~Aww I love doggies. I love to throw them into a river in a sack!

~You really got your mothers looks -growl-

~I can tell you where there's a nice big chest of gold coins...you can use them to buy new handbags!

~Id like to help you on your quest to save the world. Here let me hold your [Noun Missing]

6 comments:

  1. i like thinking about puppies , about slowly slowly crushing them

    ReplyDelete
  2. "You really got your mother's looks.... eeewww."
    (rather than "growl" as that infers a very different meaning)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'd like to help you save the world. Here, let me hold your brassiere!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I sensed your presence before you even arrived... WHAT DID YOU EAT?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Playing a a woman
    "Sure are a lot of problems in the world. It's going to take a big, strong MAN to fix them."

    ReplyDelete